Ducks Breakup

• what does the end of a Romantic relationship indicate?

  That the 2 people are now legitimately available as partners for other relationships
• What does ducks model state?

  That at the end of a relationship, each partner creates a "breakup story" which leaves them in a good light, so that they can ensure gaining a future partner. Romantic relationships are therefore ended publicly in a way that signifies an individual's freedom from their former partner and their availability
• what is Duck's model?

  A phase model , showing how the dissolution of a relationship is a process rather than a one time event
• what is there at each phase of the model?

  There is a THRESHOLD that once breached, moves the process to the next phase
• order of phases?

  • intra-psychic
  • dyadic
  • social
  • grave-dressing
  • resurrection phase
• describe intra-psychic phase?

  personal brooding
• describe the first phase - intra-psychic?


  Cognitive processes of the dissatisfied partner are the focus of this stage . They admit they are dissatisfied with their relationship
• what does the dissatisfied partner do in the intra-psychic phase?

  they 'brood' on reasons for their dissatisfaction , mainly related to their partners shortcomings

  • they think privately about this
• what does the intra-psychic phase focus on?

  a person's internal thought process that occurs before confronting the partner
• what does the disatisfied parnter do in first phase?

  weigh up pros of cons of relationship and compare the alternatives (including being alone)
• what happens before 1st phase moves on to second phase?

  the dissatisfied partner reaches a threshold of thinking " i can't stand this anymore"
• describe dyadic phase?

  discussion with partner

  • cannot avoid talking about their relationship any longer
  • they confront their partner
• what happens in dyadic phase/ second phase?

  Dissatisfactions are aired, these often characterised by anxiety, hostility, complaints about lack of equity, resentment and rethinking the commitment that kept them together
• threshold reached at second phase is?

  "i would be justified in withdrawing"
• 2 outcomes of the Dyadic/second phase?


  1. continue with breakup
  2. repair it
• what is the third phase?

  social
• describe social phase?

  issues made public
• describe the social phase?

  Breakup becomes public
• According to duck.....?

  Once the conflict reaches the third stage, it is more difficult for a couple to mend their relationship
• describe social phase?

  Friends and family take sides , intervene in the couples relationship and offer advice, which makes reconciliation much more problematic
• threshold at social/third stage?

  "i mean it"
• what does the social phase usually lead to?

  The dissolution of the relationship
• what do partners do in the social phase?


  Seek support & form pacts with mutual friends
• how can mutual friends influence the breakup in the social stage?


  in different ways:

  1. reassurance "you were to good for her"
  2. placing blame on one or the other (it was his fault because.)
  3. revealing secret info (i didnt want to mention but...)
  4. repair- acting as a go-between - but this is usually at the point of no return
• what happens to the breakup at the social phase?

  takes on momentum driven by social forces
• what is the 4th stagr?

  grave-dressing: saving face
• describe 4th phase?

  • the aftermath
  • "Time to get a new life"
• what do partners do in 4th phase?

  Come up with story for public so you 'save face' and come out keeping a positive reputation. this is usually at the expense of the other partner.
• what do both sides do in 4th phase?

  Construct their version of why relationship broke down, usually minimising their faults & maximising their partner's , but at same time trying to show themselves as trustworthy and loyal in order to attract a new partner
• what is important in 4th phase?

  Gossip plays an important role in 4th phase, crucial for each partner to retain some social credit- blame anyone/anything but themselves
• what may you create in 4th phase?


  A personal story you can live with, involving re-writing memories

  eg traits you initially found attractive are now reinterpretred in a negative fashion

  • old;- wild unpredictable nature
  • new- irresponsible and failure to settle down
• threshold at 4th stage?

  its time to start a new life
• what is the 5th phase?


  resurrection
• what did duck and his colleague Rollie do in 2006?

  Proposed an addition to the model- the resurrection phase
• describe the resurrection phase?

  At this stage people move beyond the pain and distress associated with ending the relationship and experience personal growth
• Duck's model assumes a relationship will breakdown due to what 3 reasons?


  • Pre-existing doom
  • mechanical failure
  • sudden death ?