before you were mine

• quote 1 


  ' in the ballroom with the thousand eyes'
• quote 2

  ' high-heeled red shoes, relics'
• quote 3

  'before you were mine'
• 'in the ballroom with the thousand eyes'

  • dancing, social life
  • thousand eyes- crowded, everyones looking at her, or reffering to a disco ball
• 'high-heeled red shoes, relics'

  • grabs attentions, glamourous, impracticle but fashionable (not expected of a mother)
  • relics- old, unused, sacred items from the past
• 'before you were mine'

  • reference to the title
  • PARADOX- women make better mothers before they have kids, mother hood is impossible
• structure:

  • no rhyme scheme- free flow and natural
  • 4 stanzas, equal length - shows a steady passing of time
• motherhood expectations :

  • protect
  • support finaccially
  • have a career
  • reserved
  • take care of everything
  • provide a home
• context

  • duffy is a strong feminist
  • her mother died years before she published this poem
  • sweet relationship poem but also a sinister theme of the inevitablility of the role of the women
  • role of women in the 50s- stay at home, be religious, 'going out' was not acceptable if you had kids
  • Duffy was raised roman catholic (referenced in the poem by the mothers return from 'mass') this placed further restrictions on the women of this period and reiterates the idea that her mother had to bear a lot of responsiblity with children.
• summary

  the speaker reminisces on behalf of their mother, reflecting on the adventurous, joyous life she had prior to giving birth to her first child (the speaker) who burdened her with more responsibility. There is an air of self loathing and a certain resentment towards the happiness and freedom experience by their mother prior to their arrival.