Factors affecting attraction: self-disclosure

• Self-disclosure:

  • Important in early relationships. It’s about revealing intimate information to another person. For example your likes and dislikes. We share what really matters to us
  • Most people are careful about disclosing too much too soon
  • Ultimately self-disclosure plays an important role in the development of a relationship
• Social penetration theory (Altman & Taylor 1973):

  • Self-disclosure limited at start. It’s a gradual process of revealing your inner self to someone else
  • Revealing personal information is a sign of trust. Partner then has to reciprocate & reveal personal information
  • As romantic partners increasingly disclose more information they penetrate more deeply into each other’s lives. Thus they gain a greater understanding of each other. 
• Social penetration theory (Altman & Taylor 1973):

  • Breadth is narrow: Both breadth & depth of self-disclosure are key according to the social penetration theory. Breadth is narrow at the start of a relationship because if too much information is revealed this may be off-putting and one partner may decide to quit the relationship
  • Depth increases: As a relationship develops more layers are gradually revealed. We are likely to reveal more intimate information including painful memories and secrets
• Reciprocity of self-disclosure:

  • Need for reciprocity for a relationship to develop. In addition to a broadening & deepening of self-disclosure, there must be reciprocity. Successful relationship will involve disclosure from one partner which is received sensitively by the other partner. In turn this should then lead to further self-disclosure from the other partner.
• A strength is that there are strong correlations between several measures of satisfaction and self-disclosure in heterosexual couples. Men and women who used self-disclosure and those who believed their partners also disclosed were more satisfied with and committed to their romantic relationship. This supports the concept of self-disclosure being a key component of committed romantic relationships
• A limitation concluded by Tang et al (2013)  is that people in the US (individualist culture) self-disclose significantly more sexual thoughts and feelings than people in china (Collectivist culture). Both levels of self-disclosure are linked to relationship satisfaction in those cultures but nevertheless the pattern of self-disclosure is different. Social penetration theory is therefore a limited explanation of romantic relationships and not necessarily generalisable to other cultures.
• Another limitation is self-disclosure linked to relationship breakdown too. Sometimes breakdown of relationships is characterised by a reduction in self-disclosure, however, this is not always the case. Duck’s phase model of the breakdown of relationships recognizes that couples often discuss their relationship with each other in intimate detail yet this may not be sufficient to save the relationship. This suggests that increased self-disclosure may not always lead to positive developments in a relationship