Self Disclosure

• Self disclosure 


  • Extent to a person reveals personal info about themselves- intimate thoughts, feelings and experiences to another person
  • Important in the development of romantic relationships- greater disclosure leading to greater feelings of intimacy
  • People tend to prefer those who disclose intimate details about themselves so will reveal more to those who don't
  • Social penetration theory: as more and more is revealed, they are penetrating further gaining deeper understanding of each other- slow process but once a certain level is reached it increases closeness and intimacy
• Reserch on self disclosure

  • Makes a distinction between self-disclosure given and received
  • Research has typically shown that the level of self-disclosure received in a romantic relationship was a better predictor of liking and loving than the level of self-disclosure that is given
  • Spreacher: self disclosure was positively related to relationship stability- in a study of 50 dating couples Sprecher found that the amount of overall disclosure in the relationship was predictive of whether the couples stayed together longer for 4 years
• Different types of self-disclosure

  • The relationship between self-disclosure and relationship satisfaction is not straightforward- takes many different forms
  • Sprecher: disclosure of experiences of personal disappointments and disappointments and accomplishments and info about previous sexual relationships have a greater influence on relationship satisfaction than more neutral types of self disclosure
• Norms of self-disclosure 


  • Norm that people should engage in only a moderately personal level of self-disclosure in the early stages of a relationship
  • These should be neither so personal that the discloser appears indiscriminate for disclosing them to a relative stranger not so impersonal that the listener is unable to know the discloser better as a result
  • Norm of reciprocity governs much of over social behaviour- considerable evidence that people possess a norm of reciprocity concerning self-disclosure so more one person discloses to another the more disclosure is expected in return
• Breath and depth of self disclosure

  • At the beginning of a relationship a lot of info is shared but it is more superficial- general info that you would tell most people
  • As the relationship progresses people start to share more personal and private info that you wouldn’t usually share- depth
  • If either of these happen too soon/late it can cause problems in the relationship
  • Depeneration can be used when a person is thinking of leaving a relationship they may start to disclose less to their partner
• Key study: Spreacher procedure

  • 156 undergrad students at a US university paired into 2 person dyads
  • 2/3 were female-female and 1/3 male-female
  • Each dyad engaged in a self-disclosure task over Skype
  • Reciprocal condition: dyads immediately took turns asking questions and disclosing
  • Non-reciprocal condition: one person asked questions in the first interaction while the other person disclosed
  • 2 switched roles for the second interaction
  • Researchers assessed liking, closeness, perceived similarity and enjoyment
• Key study: Spreacher findings

  • Reciprocal condition: dyads reported more liking, closeness, perceived similarity and enjoyment than did those in the non-reciprocal dyads after the first interaction
  • Difference remained after participants in the non-reciprocal dyads switched disclosure roles during the second interaction
  • Showed that turn-taking self-disclosure reciprocity is more likely to lead to positive interpersonal outcomes than extended reciprocity
• Research support for self-disclosure

  • Collins and Miller meta-analysis: people who engage in intimate disclosures tend to be liked more than people who disclose at lower levels and people like others having disclosed to them
  • Relationship between disclosure and liking was stronger if the recipient believed that the disclosure was shared only with them rather than being shared indiscriminately with others
• Self-disclosure on the internet: Boom and Bust


  • Relationships formed over the internet involve higher levels of self-disclosure and attraction than in face-to-face relationships
  • As individuals communicating over the internet are often anonymous so will to reveal more info about themselves
  • ‘boom and bust’- when people reveal more about themselves earlier than they would be in a face-to-face interaction relationships get intense very quickly
  • But because of the underlying trust and true knowledge of the other person aren’t there to support the relationship it becomes difficult to sustrain
• Norms of self disclosure run deep

  • Relationship between gradual self-disclosure and attraction applies not only to real-life romantic relationships but to liking reality TV contestants
  • Reality TV shows tend to be characterised by the very intimate self-disclosure of contestants early on in the shows- this appears to conflict with what happens in everyday interactions where such intimate self-disclosure is welcomed only when it evolves gradually
  • They found that like in real relationships viewers preferred those individuals whose self-disclosure evolved gradually then became more intimate
• Self-disclosur may be greater in face to face than in online relationships 


  • Challenges the assumption that people self-disclose more in online than in face-to-face relationships
  • Members of a social group disclose personal info more often in face-to-face than online interactions and disclose more intimate info
  • This may be due to the relative lack of intimacy of the Internet as a context for personal self-disclosure
  • A person who is disclosing appreciates nonverbal cues like eye contact and the attentive silence of someone they are disclosing to which is absent in the online environment
• Cultural differences in patterns of self-disclosure

  • West- people typically engage in more intimate self-disclosure than non-Westerners like Americans disclose more than Chinese or Japanese
  • Cultural norms also shape how comfortable men and women are in self-disclosing- Nakanishi: Japanese women prefer a lower level of personal conversations than do Japanese men
  • Opposite to the self-disclosure patterns typically found in the West where women prefer more disclosure than do men