karen the computer lines

• AND I WENT TO COLLEGE SO YOU KNOW ITS CLEVER

  with you, there’s always another plan
• quiet computer wife, soon they’ll all see. I may be small, but my genius is immense!

  come on, sheldon. it’ll take forever to hypnotise the whole town!
• you used to enjoy my evil schemes

  what can i say? after twenty years of marriage the magic’s gone.
• i have a scheme karen, my best one yet. but for it to work i need them to stay scared.

  what’re you talking about? the end is coming, there is no time for one of your schemes.
• i need sell them my plan, karen, but it won’t be easy— no no too cerebral. i need something with mass appeal. give me a beat karen, a hip hop beat.

  come on sheldon, you couldn’t rap if your life depended on it.
• little does he know, the tables will soon turn

  i’m not sure what’s gotten into you, but this is a very good scheme. once they’re trapped in the escape pod, they’ll be easy to hypnotise. by the time we reach chumville everyone will love chum.
• thus the name

  i got that
• soon fast food domination will be mine mwahahaha

  you know, i’ve forgotten how much i love hearing you gloat
• oh karen it’s been years since i’ve felt this close. gazing into your screen right now, i feel the earth move under my feet

  it is moving
• that sponge is the biggest threat to my plot, if somehow they do manage to climb that mountain…

  we have to make sure they don’t live long enough to reach the top
• i like how you’re thinking karen, and you know you just said ‘we’

  i guess i did
• i’m so glad you want to scheme with me again, it’s just like the old days

  i guess it took a little apocalypse to spice things up.
• it’s going to be fun to finish these fools forever

  i love it when you alliterate
• and i still don’t have a plan to stop them, my evil genius is exhausted

  don’t worry sheldon, i’ve got just the thing
• do tell

  i found it in the closet, tucked back with the cleaning supplies
• my avalanche maker 3000! id wondered what happened to that

  it was next to the tsunami maker 2000, next to the tornado maker 5000, next to the mop, we can use it to start a landslide that they’ll never survive, then chumville here we come.
• oh karen its evil, it’s diabolical, it’s lemon scented

  gloat for me, baby
• how’s it coming karen

  almost done, target program complete. i’ll be able to aim the avalanche maker with lethal precision.
• now that we’re getting along so much better i thought maybe…

  yes sheldon?
• something like, i don’t know, big guy?

  big guy?
• yes! say it again

  big guy
• i could get used to that

  big guy
• UHHHH

  big guy! big guy!
• all right now’s our chance

  let’s do this, big guy
• ready

  aim, FIRE
• we have to get to the escape pod and…

  honey, they’re alive
• like your avalanche idea for one

  my idea? we came up with it together!
• not how i remember it

  unbelievable we found the spark again but as soon as things don’t go perfectly you take it out on me. unbelievable sheldon.
• i’ll be in any band with that dope voice, count me in

  me too! i play a mean glockenspiel
• when we’re under attack no

  you run like crazy out the back we got one day left go home and pack