self disclosure

• what is self-disclosure?

  • revealing personal info about ourselves: intimate thoughts, feelings + experiences
  • is an important aspect of romantic relationships
  • the greater the disclosure, the greater feelings of intimacy
  • people reveal more intimate info to those they like + tend to like those who reveal more intimate info to them in return
• • in the early days of a relationship, we like to learn as much as we can about the new partner
  • more we learn = more we like them
  • share likes/dislikes, hopes, fears, interests, attitudes
  • help us to understand them
  • plays vital role in initial attraction
• social penetration theory

  • a theory which suggests that there are two dimensions to self-disclosure: breadth and depth
  • breadth = range of topics covered. usually expands first in a relationship
  • depth = degree of private or personal info. more difficult to reach + includes painful memories + unusual traits that we might hesitate to share with others, so develops later
  • both are crucial for developing a relationship
  • sometimes compared to an onion
• social penetration theory: altman + taylor (1973)

  • gradual process of revealing your inner self to someone else
  • giving away your deepest thoughts + feelings
  • reciprocal of exchange of information
  • this displays trust
  • romantic partners 'penetrate' more deeply into each others lives
• self-disclosure given and received

  • an important distinction
  • level of self disclosure received in a relationship is a better predictor if liking and loving than the level of self disclosure given
• another important social norm is reciprocity

  • most norms concerning behaviour involve some aspect of receiving returns for their own level of effort
  • in relationships, the norm is that self-disclosure should not be a one-way process
• reciprocity: reis + shaver (1988)

  • point out for a relationship to develop and increase in breadth and depth, there needs to be a reciprocal bond + disclosure
  • disclosure needs to be responded with a reward or interest perhaps (something positive)
• research support for the importance of reciprocal

  self-disclosure in attraction

  • Sprecher et al. (2013) paired up unacquainted student volunteers and asked them to talk over Skype.
  • A 'reciprocal group took turns in asking questions and disclosing. A ‘non-reciprocal’ group had a one of the pair asking questions and the other answering… before swapping roles
  • Researchers measured perceived 'liking', ‘closeness', 'similarity' and enjoyment’
• sprecher et al. findings

  • results suggest that mutual sharing of personal information builds trust and emotional intimacy, which are key to developing attraction and strong interpersonal bonds.
• Supporting evidence for social penetration theory, from online relationships.

  • Rosenfeld and Thomas (2019) found that in 2017 39% of heterosexual couples (and higher proportions of same sex-couples) reported meeting their partner online.
  • Relationships formed over the internet often involve higher levels of self-disclosure in comparison to face-to-face relationships, but this can lead to
  • 'Boom and Bust' (Cooper and Sportolari, 1997)
  • Rapid depth in disclosure (boom) not matched by breadth, leaving online relationships lacking strong foundations and basic trust leading to bust'
• however...

  • Rosenfeld and Thomas (2012) found no evidence to support a 'Boom and Bust` pattern in online relationships.
  • There was no difference between online and offline relationships in ratings of relationship quality.
  • This suggests that online relationships are no different to face-to face relationships in terms of quality, despite possible differences in self-disclosure levels.
• Theories of the role of self-disclosure in attraction may also be ethnocentric

  • Cultures tend to differ on the importance they place on personal self-disclosure.
  • Western cultures typically disclose more than non-Western cultures
  • This disclosure also tends to be more intimate.
  • Women disclose more than men
  • BUT... Nakanishi (1986)
  • Japanese women prefer a much lower level of disclosure than Japanese men.
  • This is the opposite.to, self-disclosure patterns found in Western cultures.