duck's phase model

• duck phase model

  • duck 2007 argued that the ending of a relationship is not a one-off event but a process that takes time and goes through four stages
  • each phase is marked by one or both people reaching a threshold where their relationship changes (usually for worse)
  • break-up begins when a partner realises they are dissatisfied with the relationship
• intra-psychic phase

  • 'i cant stand this anymore'
  • cognitive processes occur within individual
  • focuses on partners shortcomings
  • mulls thought privately
  • may share with trusted friend
  • weigh up pros and cons
  • evaluate other alternatives
• dyadic phase

  • 'i would be justified in withdrawing'
  • interpersonal process between two partners
  • can no longer avoid talking about with partner
  • confrontations
  • dissatisfactions aired
  • anxiety, hostility, lack of equity complaints
  • 2 possible outcomes: determination to separate or decide to repair it
• social phase

  • 'i mean it'
  • wider processes involving social networks
  • break-up made public
  • mutual friends pick side
  • friends provide support + reassurance
  • others judgemental
  • no point of return
• grave-dressing phase

  • 'it is no inevitable'
  • focus is on aftermath
  • favourable story is spoken to save face and maintain positive reputation
  • show partner in bad light
  • gossip plays important role here]create a personal story you can live with which may differ from a public one
  • adapt memories to help you cope
  • 'time to get a new life'