MOD2: Personal Relationship

• Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. —Lao Tzu
• The Merriam-Webster dictionary, collegiately defined attraction as: the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something; and a quality or feature that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
• Having this definition, it could be said that attraction is a positive connection between two or more people that share something in common, like interests, likes/dislikes, or desires. Some qualities may catch your attention and which could spark a certain kind of relationship.
• When you have a positive attitude or evaluation regarding a particular person in relation to different components, that is interpersonal attraction
• Key components of attraction

  1. Physical Attractiveness
  2. Similarity
  3. Proximity
  4. Reciprocity
• Love

  (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; (b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers

  (c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.
• According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, “love is one of the important components of a complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to highly emotional situations”
• One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals like between mother and child inside her womb and even after giving birth is Oxytocin (Keverne, 2006)
• Oxytoxin

  It is a peptide also known as the love hormone, a female reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between mother and child through breastfeeding
• Oxytocin

  It is transmitted to the brain tissue of the child that allows and creates a strong bond between them
• Together with Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin, and Dopamine are so-called “feel good” chemicals that promote strong connections/bonds between people since it releases during happy moments
• Another element that promotes love is Vasopressin
• Vasopressin

  It is also a peptide that conveys the behavior of an individual’s social engagement (Kenkel et al, 2012)
• Vasopressin

  One of its roles is to produce a behavior of developing stable, loving, and long-term relationship with others.
• The studies of Cohen 2007; Fisher et. al, 2009 explained that the serotonin production of newly-in-love individuals increases up to 40% just like with the brain of a drug addict. And, when a person experiences heartbreak, the brain processes just like an addict quitting a heroin habit.
• In the book of Principles of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition by Dr. Charles Strangor, he explained Robert Sternberg’s proposed Triangular Model of Love.
• Intimacy is consisting of affective variables such as closeness, caring, and emotional support
• Passion is consist of physiological and affective variables like physical attraction, emotional responses that promote physiological changes, and sexual arousal
• Commitment is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love to another individual with the willingness to keep the relationship lasts
• Infatuation (Passion alone)
• Liking (intimacy alone)
• Empty Love (Commitment alone)
• Romantic Love (Intimacy + Passion)
• Companionate Love (Intimacy + Commitment)
• Fatuous Love Passion + Commitment)
• Consummate Love (intimacy + Passion + Commitment)
• Three (3) attachment styles

  1. Secure Attachment Style
  2. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style
  3. Avoidant Attachment Style

  These attachment styles have a big effect or impact on how an individual perceived and expresses behavior with or towards others.
• Secure Attachment Style – a healthy style wherein the children used to receive care and easily communicate with the parents since they feel that they are always available to listen and keep them safe
• Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style - when children are lacking or seeking more affection from parents because they are too dependent on them
• Avoidant Attachment Style – it is when children are distant to the parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant experiences
• Commitment

  It is a long-term relationship between individuals. A more complex relationship that resulted to increasingly turn to each other not only for social support but also for help in coordinating activities, remembering dates and appointments, and accomplishing tasks (Wegner, Erber, & Raymond, 1991)
• Dr. Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr. Hammond Tarry reiterated the Slotter et al., 2011 that “commitment refers to the feelings and action that keep partners working together to maintain the relationship”
• Commitment is a choice, a long and not an easy process that needs to be participated by you and your partner.
• How to Exercise Expressing Affections and Developed Into a Commitment

  1. Stay happy
  2. Be empathic
  3. Keep open communication.
  4. Always trust
  5. Show respect
  6. Be a helping hand.
• Stay happy

  Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and concrete things.
• Be empathic

  Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation and overall altruism—the desire to help, even at a potential cost to the self.
• Keep open communication

  It provides an opportunity to size up the trustworthiness of a person by verbally committing to cooperate with another
• Always trust

  Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of faith that others will repay our hard work and generosity. Supporting their interests is also showing your trust.
• Show respect

  People are likely to give respect to others by being polite, honest, and by showing kindness all the time.
• Be a helping hand

  In times of trouble (e.g. mentally/ emotionally), make him/her feel that he/she always has you on his/her side.