LESSON6-THE FAMILY

• Jealousy


  Self-defeating when it gets out of hand
• Reasons why jealousy is self-defeating


  • Love and fidelity cannot be forced through suspicion and surveillance
  • Even when justifiable, jealousy is not addressed to the true causes of infidelity
  • The other person resents the lack of trust
  • A jealous person is likely to be hard to live with and, therefore, likely to become unattractive
  • Jealousy often involves projection of blame
  • Jealousy tends to be a symptom of immaturity and is often part of behavior that is not conducive to happy marriage
• Ways in which jealousy is expressed

  • Criticism
  • Suspicion
  • Questioning
  • Nagging
  • Demands for explanation
  • Moodiness
  • Loss of respect
  • Attempted domination
  • Restriction of freedom
• Working wife


  Husbands who resent the outside interests of their wives and want their wives for themselves alone
• Husbands tend to become jealous of their wives' time, promotion, and success, feeling that their masculinity is challenged by their wife's success
• Traditional husband


  Wants a full-time housewife whose interests revolve completely around him and whose life is subordinated to his standards and wishes
• Sexual relations in marriage

  Socially approved means of reproduction and an expression of the deeper emotional life and regard between husband and wife
• Parenthood is generally considered by Filipinos as a natural outcome after marriage
• The child's position in the family is significant, as the child gives the family its form and structure
• As soon as the child is born, the husband and wife acquire the traditional status and role of parents
• Parenthood today is not the same as what it was a generation ago, as modernization has affected not only the husband and wife roles but also those of the father and mother
• Motivations for Filipinos to have children

  • Help they provide (household chores, financial help, care and support for parents in old age)
  • Desire of parents for their children to attain high level of education
  • Socioemotional benefits (love and happiness)
  • Incentives for achievement and success
  • Strengthening of marital bond
• Children are believed to bring good luck, and the more children the couple has, the more blessed the union
• Socialization


  The process whereby the individual acquires and internalizes the norms, attitudes, and values of his society
• The family carries the greatest responsibility in socialization, as it is the first, closest, and most influential social group in the child's life
• Mother's role in socialization


  Assumes the bulk of childcare responsibility due to spending more time at home and having a more intimate relationship with the child
• The mother's role has expanded beyond the usual expressive task to include making instrumental decisions
• The traditional belief that employment of the mother leads to the child's neglect and emotional deprivation, as well as to a communication breakdown between mother and child, has not been sufficiently substantiated and must be qualified
• The Child and Youth Welfare Code obliges parents to support the child in the form of a balanced diet, adequate clothing, sufficient shelter, proper medical attention, and an education commensurate with the child's abilities until they complete their education and training
• Maternal and child care practices


  • Helping the pregnant woman with her needs to avoid miscarriage
  • Breastfeeding as the more healthful, convenient, and economical option
  • Teaching children to be obedient and respectful, and to help with household chores
• Child-rearing patterns

  The process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood
• Types of caretakers in parenting

  • Biological parent(s)
  • Older sibling
  • Grandparent
  • Legal guardian
  • Aunt/uncle
  • Family friend
  • Government and society
• Filipino father


  Tends to fall into procreator and dilettante types, whose main role is that of provider and disciplinarian, with a limited role in child-rearing
• Classification of fatherhood according to activity dimension

  • Procreator father
  • Dilettante father
  • Determinative father
  • Generative father
• Qualities of the perfect father


  • Has no favorites, loves all children unconditionally
  • Is always right
  • Is forever faithful and will never abandon his children
  • Is always available
  • Always knows the wise thing to do
• Solo parenthood


  Refers to a parent not living with a spouse or partner that has most of the day to day responsibilities in raising the child or children
• Causes of solo parenthood


  • Death of partner
  • Divorce
  • Unintended pregnancy
  • Single parent adoption
• Child custody


  Refers to which parent is allowed to make important decisions about the children involved
• Physical custody


  Refers to which parent the child lives with
• Parallel parenting


  Parenting after divorce in which each parent does so independently, most common
• Cooperative parenting


  Occurs when the parents involved in the child's life work together around all involved parties' schedules and activities, less common
• Mothers with unintended pregnancies and their children are subject to numerous adverse health effects, including increased risk of violence and death, and the children are less likely to succeed in school and more likely to live in poverty and be involved in crime
• Advantages of single parenting

  • Greater control
  • Manipulative children
  • Total financial control
  • Less people to care for
  • More time to the child
• Disadvantages of single parenting

  • Lack of support
  • Too much pressure/stress
  • Financial pressure
  • Child care issues
  • Limited social life
  • Difficulties balancing children and work
  • Loneliness
• Child abuse and child maltreatment

  All forms of physical and/or emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect or negligent treatment or commercial or other exploitation, resulting in actual or potential harm to the child's health, survival, development or dignity in the context of a relationship of responsibility, trust or power
• Four types of child abuse

  • Physical abuse
  • Neglect
  • Emotional abuse
  • Sexual abuse
• Millions of children in the Philippines are forced to work at young ages, and child labor is one of the Philippines' most urgent problems