self disclosure

• self disclosure

  revealing personal info about yourself. romantic partners reveal more about their true selves as the relationship develops - can strengthen the relationship if used appropriately
• social penetration theory - altman and taylor


  • relationships are a reciprocal exchange of info between partners - leads to understanding of eachother
  • biographical data, preferences, aspirations, religion, fears and fantasies, concept of the self
  • when one person reveals info, it displays trust and to go further the other person but do it too
  • as this develops, partners 'penetrate' more deeply into eachothers lives - deeper connection
• breadth and depth of self disclosure 


  • as both breadth and depth increases, couples become more committed to one another
  • low risk = revealed early on, superficial
  • high risk = comes out as relationship progresses, painful memories
  • if you reveal too much too soon, you get the too much info response, threatening relationship before it even gets going
  • as the relationship develops, self disclosure becomes deeper and more layers are revealed
• appropriateness for disclosure 


  first date = over the top, lacking in social skills
• attributions for disclosure 


  oversharing = less attractive
• gender differences 


  women are seen as better communicators, so intimate self disclosure by men may seem less appropriate than women
• content of disclosure 


  • disclosure of highly intimate into might be inappropriate, in early stages can decrease attraction
• reciprocity of self disclosure 


  • reis and shaver - for a relationship to develop (in addition to breadth and depth) there needs to be a reciprocal element
  • once you disclose something that reveals your true self, your partner should respond in a way thats rewarding to you (understanding, their own intimate thoughts / feelings)
  • key = must be a balance of self disclosure, which increases intimacy and deepens the relationship
• self disclosure support :) - sprencher and hendrick

  • studied heterosexual couples, found positive correlation between measures of relationship satisfaction and self disclosure
  • means the higher level of self disclosure, greater happiness within the relationship
  • ISSUES
  • lacking population validity - only heterosexual couples, not representative
  • correlation - cant establish cause and effect, unidentified 3rd variable - funny, attractive
  • too much - too much self disclosure can speed it up rather than develop it more - wrong to say lots of SD causes satisfaction
• self disclosure support :) - laurenceau 


  • daily diary entries - self disclosure in partner were linked to higher levels of intimacy in long term couples
  • reverse also true - less intimate couples self disclosed less often
  • increases validity of the theory - self disclosure leads to more satisfying relationships
• self disclosure support :) - real life applications

  • research into self disclosure can help people wanting to improve communication in their relationships
  • partners often use SD skilfully and deliberately to increase intimacy and strengthen the bond
• self disclosure support :) - hass and stafford


  • 57% of gay men and women said self disclosure was the main way they maintained their relationships
  • value of phycological insight - if people understand how important SD is, the more likely they are to do it
• self disclosure criticism :( - cultural differences

  • prediction of increasing depth and breadth of SD will lead to more satisfying and intimate relationships isn't true for all cultures
  • tang - men and women in USA disclose significantly more than men/women in china (collectivist vs individualist cultures).
• self disclosure and satisfaction :( - not supporting

  • social penetration theory claims relationships become more intimate as self disclosure deepens
  • onion metaphor - relationship breakdown is accompanies by reduction in self disclosures
  • HOWEVER ... theories of relationship breakdown often recognise how couples discuss and negotiate the state of their deteriorating relationships in attempt to save it or restore satisfaction
  • discussions will often involve very deep self disclosure yet might not be enough to save the relationship, can even contribute to the the breakdown