LO-interpersonal skills

• interpersonal skill


  the ability to effectively interact with a wide range of diverse individuals and groups
• emotional quotient/ intelligence 


  our ability to identify, assess and manage our own emotions, as well as to understand the emotions of others
• benefits of interpersonal skills

  1. builds motivation
  2. encourages empathy and understanding
  3. assists in communication
  4. assists in stress management
  5. assists in the ability to problem solve
  6. improves decision making
  7. increases chances of success
  8. improves relationships
• skills of emotional intelligence

  1. self-awareness: you know and understand feelings of yourself and how it affects others
  2. self-regulation: ability to control yourself and hold accountability
  3. motivation: short term goals for long term rewards
  4. empathy: understanding others emotions and how they affect you
  5. social skills: work positively with other people
• emotion


  a conscious mental reaction subjectively experienced as a strong feeling usually directed towards a specific object and typically accompanied by a physiological/behavioural change in the body
• ruminate


  obsessional thinking involving excessive, repetitive thoughts\themes that interfere with other forms of mental activity
• emotional literacy


  the ability to deal with one’s emotions and recognise their causes
• emotional hygiene 


  being mindful of psychological health and adopting brief daily habits to monitor and address psychological wounds when we sustain them
• emotional hygiene

  1. pay attention to your emotional pain
  2. stop emotional bleeding
  3. protect self esteem
  4. battle negative thinking
• three components of emotional experiences

  1. subjective experiences: personal emotional experiences resulting from an actual event
  2. physiological responses: reactions of our nervous system to the emotions that we are experiencing
  3. behavioural responses: actual expressions of emotion in response to how we are feeling
• calm


  having access to the rational part of your brain and make decisions and behave in a manner that best serves you/others
• unhealthy ways people numb their emotions

  1. unhealthy eating habits
  2. screen time
  3. substance use
• labelling our emotions 


  a pillar of emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of and to understand emotions
• build emotional resilience

  1. personalisation - do not take it personally; things beyond your control can also affect you emotionally
  2. permanence - view setbacks as temporary
  3. pervasiveness - a bad situation in one area of your life does not need to affect the rest of your life
• diffuse psychological arousal


  body’s alarm system to indicate that it is overwhelmed with emotions and beginning to shut down both emotionally and physically
• ways to deal with diffuse psychological arousal

  1. timeout: allocate time to allow your body to reset and reengage the calm
  2. do not stew: do not run over the situation in your head
  3. relax: do something that relaxes you and helps you put your mind at ease
• narrative empathy


  engaging in narratives in order to promote empathetic abilities
• empathy


  the capacity to understand and feel what another person is experiencing
• benefits of engaging in conversation about polarising topics

  • interact effectively in a diverse work place
  • develop communication and conflict resolution skills
  • act as a global citizen, able to benefit from diverse perspectives
  • engage in critical thinking
  • engage in analysis, debate and discussion about controversial issues in a well-informed manner
• emotional empathy 


  sharing same feelings that another person is experiencing
• intercultural empathy 


  the ability to perceive the world as it is perceived by a culture diff from yours
• compassionate empathy

  taking actions to help someone we are empathetic towards
• cognitive empathy 


  understanding what a person is thinking and feeling
• building empathy

  • practice empathy
  • admit that we all hold biases
  • stand up for other people
  • read books with different perspectives
  • have hard conversations
• loss of individuality

  • close relationships can also make us feel pressured to be more like the other person in the relationship
  • can be intentional or unintentional
  • truly supportive relationships will embrace what we bring to the relationship as an individual
• blame

  • has an inverse relationship with accountability
  • an example of defensiveness
• romantic relationships

  • a lifelong effort which takes constant work
• rejection

  • self-criticism is a big part of rejection
• how to deal with rejection

  1. revive your self-worth: you have a lot to offer and rejection does not change that
  2. connect: socialise with those whose company you enjoy
  3. do not assume rejection is personal
  4. do not tolerate harsh self-criticism: it is helpful to think about improvements you can make
• loneliness 


  a subjective feeling that you feel emotionally disconnected from the people around you

  • isolation is one of the biggest causes and symptoms of depression
• how to deal with a broken heart

  • do things that bring you joy
  • make notes of negatives in a relationship
  • do not stalk
  • identify and work on the voids in your life
  • make a list of compromises you had to make in the relationship
• media normalises us to violence therefore we become immune to seeing this abuse
• treating the opposite sex as inferior tips the balance of power between men and women
• physical abuse


  domestic violence, gun violence, sexual violenc, rape

  • starts slowly and overtime escalates
  • the aim is to gain control over another person
  • no one is protected from domestic violence/abuse by their privilege, race, gender or socioeconomic status
• tear foundation 


  organisation based in south africa assisting through intervention and education programmes for those who are impacted by gender-based violence and child sexual abuse
• parameters of consent

  1. consent is not permanent
  2. consent does not mean that someone can do anything they like to you
  3. consent can be retracted anytime
  4. it is not consent if you are being coerced
  5. it is not consent if you are not fully conscious
• consent

  • needs to be enthusiastic
  • a person can withdraw at anytime
  • silence does not imply consent
  • a person must have capacity in order to give consent
• the cycle of abuse

  1. tension building: miscommunication; abusee may become fearful
  2. incident: act of abuse occurs
  3. reconciliation: abuser tries to justify their actions
  4. calm: abuser acts “normal“ as if nothing happened; may be overly affectionate
• how to help someone being abused

  • do not judge them
  • be supportive and encouraging
  • be honest and open with your opinions but share them with tact
  • offer to go with them to seek proffesional help
  • keep in contact
  • believe what they tell you
  • ensure they know that it is not their fault