Topic 7: Conversational Messages

• Conversation


  Relatively informal social interaction in which the roles of speaker and hearer are exchanged in a nonautomatic fashion under the collaborative management of all parties
• Principles of Conversation


  • Follow a process
  • Cooperate
  • Act politely
  • Use dialogue rather than monologue
  • Exchange speaking/listening turns
• A Functional Five-Stage Model of Conversation

  1. Opening

  2. Feedforward

  3. Business

  4. Feedback

  5. Closing
• Opening


  • Start with greeting ('Hi, how are you?')
  • Phatic communication: messages between two people in opening the channels of interaction
  • Can be verbal or non-verbal messages
  • Consistent in tone with the main part of conversation
• Feedforward


  Give a general idea of the conversation's focus<|>May identify the tone or time required in the conversation<|>Conversation awkwardness often occurs when feedforwards are used inappropriately<|>Feedforward is usually combined with opening
• Business


  • Focus of your conversationTo fulfill the general purposes of interpersonal communication (to learn, to play, to relate, to help, & to influence)<|>Each culture has certain conversation taboos – topics or language that should be avoided especially by outsiders
• Feedback


  The reverse of the feedforward step<|>Reflect on the conversation to signal that as far as you're concerned
• Closing


  The last step which often reveals how satisfied the persons were with the conversation<|>May be used to schedule future conversations
• Principles of Cooperation


  Implicitly agreeing with the other person to cooperate in trying to understand what each other is saying<|>Cooperate by using conversational maxims: principles that speakers and listeners in U.S and in many other cultures follow in conversation
• Conversational Maxims


  • Maxim of Quantity: Include information that the meaning clear, give neither too little nor too much information
  • Maxim of Quality: Say what you know or assume to be true, do not say what you know to be false
  • Maxim of Relation: Talk about what is relevant to the conversation
  • Maxim of Manner: Be clear, avoid ambiguities, brief, and organize your thoughts into a meaningful sequence
• Principles of Politeness


  • Tact
  • Generosity
  • Approbation
  • Modesty
  • Agreement
  • Sympathy
• Principle of Dialogue


  There is two-way interaction, concern for the other person and the relationship between two people, mutual understanding and empathy<|>Monologue: Communication in which person speaks and the other listens, no real interaction among participants, speak without any real concern for the other person's feeling or attitudes
• Guidelines to Increase Dialogue and Decrease Monologic Tendencies

  • Demonstrate respect for other person
  • Avoid negative criticism
  • Keep the channels of communication open by displaying a willingness to listen
  • Acknowledge the presence and importance of the other person
  • Avoid manipulating the conversation to get the person to say something positive about you
• Speaker Cues


  • Turn-maintaining cues: Help you maintain the speaker's role, avoiding eye contact with the listener so there's no indication that you're passing the speaking turn to him or her
  • Turn-yielding cues: Tell the listener that you're finished and wish to exchange the role of speaker for that of listener
• Listener Cues


  • Turn-requesting cues: Let the speaker know that you'd like to take a turn as a speaker
  • Turn-denying cues: Other ways to refuse a turn are to avoid eye contact with the speaker
• Back-Channeling Cues


  • To indicate agreement or disagreement
  • To indicate degree of involvement
  • To pace the speaker
  • To ask for clarification
• Interruptions


  An attempts to take over the role of the speaker<|>Change the topic to a subject that the interrupter knows more about or to emphasize the person's authority
• Conversational Disclosure


  Revealing information about yourself to another person<|>Self-disclosure involves at least one other individual<|>To qualify as self-disclosure, the information must be received and understood by another person
• Factors Influencing Self-Disclosure


  • You
  • Your Culture
  • Your Gender
  • Your Listener
  • Your Topic
  • Your Media
• Rewards of Self-Disclosure


  To increase self-acknowledge, communication and relationship effectiveness, physiological well-being, and likeability
• Dangers of Self-Disclosure


  • Personal Risk
  • Relational Risk
  • Professional Risk
• Guidelines for Making Self-Disclosure

  • Disclose out of appropriate motivation
  • Disclose in the appropriate context
  • Disclose gradually
  • Disclose without imposing burdens on yourself/others
• Guidelines for Facilitating and Responding to Self-Disclosure

  • Practice the skills of effective and active listening
  • Support and reinforce the discloser
  • Be willing to reciprocate
  • Keep the disclosure confidential
• Guidelines for Resisting Pressure to Self-Disclose

  • Don't be pushed
  • Be indirect and move to another topic
  • Be assertive in your refusal to disclose