Duck’s Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown

• The four phases of relationship breakdown

  1. Intra-psychic phase
  2. Dyadic phase
  3. Social phase
  4. Grave-dressing phase
• Contributing factors to relationship breakdown

  • Personal factors like bad habits
  • Precipitating factors like external influences I.e. love rivals
  • Lack of skills like sexual, lack of motivation I.e. perceiving inequity, lack of maintenance I.e. spending too much time apart
• Duck’s phase model of relationship breakdown

  • A ‘phase’ model demonstrating that it takes time to go rather than being a one off event
  • Each phase is triggered by one or both partners reaching a threshold where their perception of the relationship changes usually for the worse
  • Breakdown starts when one person becomes dissatisfied and distressed about the way things are going
• Intra-psychic phase


  Focus is on cognitive processes occurring within the individual. The dissatisfied partner broods on the reasons for his or her dissatisfaction. The partner mulls their thoughts over privately. They weigh the pros and cons of the relationship and evaluate these against the alternative. Begin to make plans for the future.
• Dyadic phase


  Focus on interpersonal processes between the two partners. There comes a point when they cannot avoid talking about their relationship any longer. Series of confrontations over a period of time. Relationship discussed and dissatisfactions are aired: characterised by anxiety, hostility, complaints about lack of equity, resentment over imbalanced roles and a rethinking of the commitment that kept the partners together. Two possible outcomes: a determination to continue breaking up the relationship or a renewed desire to repair it.
• Social phase


  Focus on wider processes involving couple’s social networks. Break up made public. Partners will seek support and try to forge pacts. Mutual friends find they are expected to choose a side. Factions are formed. Gossip is traded and encouraged, Some friends will provide reinforcement and reassurance, others will be judgemental and place the blame on one partner or the other. Usually the point of no return.
• Grave-dressing phase


  Focus on the aftermath. Time comes to bury relationship by spinning a favourable story about the breakdown for public consumption - allows partners to save face and uphold own reputations that is normally at the expense of the other. Gossip important here, blaming everything but themselves. Also involves creating a personal story you can live with. The dissatisfied partner finally concludes Time to get a new life.
• What is the focus of the grave-dressing phase in a relationship?

  It focuses on the aftermath of the relationship.
• What does "burying the relationship" involve during the grave-dressing phase?

  It involves spinning a favorable story about the breakdown for public consumption.
• Why do partners spin a favorable story about the relationship breakdown?

  To save face and uphold their own reputations.
• What is often sacrificed when partners uphold their reputations during the grave-dressing phase?

  The reputation of the other partner is often sacrificed.
• What role does gossip play in the grave-dressing phase?

  Gossip is important for blaming everything but themselves.
• What does creating a personal story involve in the grave-dressing phase?

  It involves creating a story that the dissatisfied partner can live with.
• What conclusion does the dissatisfied partner reach during the grave-dressing phase?

  They conclude that it is time to get a new life.
• What are the key elements of the grave-dressing phase in a relationship breakdown?

  • Focus on the aftermath of the relationship
  • Spinning a favorable story for public consumption
  • Saving face and upholding personal reputations
  • Gossip and blaming others
  • Creating a personal story to live with
  • Conclusion of starting a new life
• Each stage of relationship breakdown involves one partner reaching a threshold at each stage