angry and frustrated

• • we know that anger can be activated by a perceived threat
  • it's part of the "fight or flight" adaptive response
  • it tells us there may be a "threat" out there
• drive... the plus side of anger

  • anger can provide increased drive
  • a greater motivation to "do something"
  • to effect a positive change
• clarity

  • it can provide the purpose and clarity that may be otherwise lacking from day to day
  • can you channel phsyical resources -- have you ever gone for an "angry walk"" or an "angry workout?"
• what is anger?

  • an emotional response that initiates a phsyical reaction
  • increased action in your dorsal pons -- part of the brain area involved in emotions
  • the periaque-ductal area: fight or flight?
• • anger, research shows, results in people judging other more harshly
  • they share less
  • they have less empathy
  • in a moral problem, angry people judge others more harshly than themselves --> a "moral dilemma"
• • are you physically uncomfortable? get rid of irritants!
  • reduce physical irritants (ie, lighting? bed? chair?)
  • too hot or too cold?
  • too much noise?
  • not enough background soothing noise like the whirr of a fan?
  • clutter? piles of stuff that annoys you?
• how to calm down

  • breathing - deep and slow from your diaphragm
  • feel each breath
  • research shows that focusing on breathing drops activity in the amygdala
  • the amygdala controls, to large degree, fear and anxiety
• two kinds of anger:

  • integral anger
  • directly angry w/ a person
  • OR
  • directly angry over a situation
• pinpoint what makes you angry

  • the other kind of anger is....
  • incidental anger
  • one thing makes you angry, but you react or lash out at something altogether different
  • here's what we know: once you've decided why you are angry, rational thought, strategic though can commence
• • 2017 applied psychology study shows striking similarity for both women and men
  • think of home and professional life as "two good things competing for our time and attention"
  • not two things constantly battling
• • studies have shown a higher sense of purpose action:
  • stronger immune response
  • lower levels of stress hormones
  • reduced cardiovascular problems
  • fewer sleep issues
  • lower depression issues
  • longer lives
• switching roles?

  • versus "perfect" balance
  • detach for a while from a certain role and embrace another role
  • leads to a refreshed energy and enthusiasm for the role we temporarily "left"
• managing student debt

  • for most of us, budgeting a regular monthly payment
  • per the budget assignment example from a group
  • use annual salary increases to
  • 1) increase your debt payment, even a little
  • 2) start investing for retirement such as a 401K or individual retirement plan
  • don't abuse charge cards
• managing your money

  • pay yourself first
  • set aside a percentage of gross pay as an IRA or 401K
  • likely offered by employer
  • many have a "match" of (for example 3%)
  • make sure you contribute to meet the matching percentage
  • pay off credit cards!!! don't abuse them!!!
  • use annual increases to pay off and increase your 401K percentage
  • try to do this for three years - its tough!!!
• recent events have us all on edge...

  • what can we identify?
  • people and events seem to jump quickly to fury and outrage
  • social media as an agitator?
  • war, crime, politics
  • we know that as anxiety increases, it's companion is often an increase in anger or at minimum deep frustration