"This was no longer the father we loved"
The war has broken up the family, he is no longer the father they loved, he is a coward and an embarrassment to the family.
He has changed since he came back, he is no longer a respectable figure, he is a disgrace to the family.
Families patriotism was so strong they were so embarrassed that they just ignored him.
Suggests his identity changed after he came back from the mission.