Virtual Relationships in Social Media

• Psychologists have long known that self-disclosure is a crucial feature of face-to-face (FtF) relationships in the offline world. However, in recent years with the rise of CMC (Computer mediated communication), their attention has turned to the role of self disclosure in CMC relationships. There are two opposing theories about how self disclosure operates online: the reduced cues theory and the hyperpersonal model.
• Reduced Cues Theory: in real life we rely not just on what is being said but also on a lot of subtle cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, and these cues are absent in virtual communications. This means that the self disclosures that occur in virtual relationships are more likely to be based on lies compared to self-disclosures that occur face to face, because it is much easier to be dishonest. Catfishing is a new phenomenon that has occurred as a result of the boom of online chat.
• The reduced cues theory also argues that the lack of suble cues leads to de-individuation – it reduces people’s sense of individual identity, which in turn encourages disinhibited communication with others, involving blunt and aggressive responses. This could cause a reluctance to self-disclose – you are unlikely to want to initiate a relationship with someone who is so impersonal, or reveal your innermost feelings to them
• Hyperpersonal Model: However, Joseph Walther (1996) argues that online relationships can be more personal and involve greater self-disclosure than FtF ones. This is because CMC relationships can develop very quickly as self disclosure happens earlier, and once established they are more intense and intimate. They can

  also end more quickly because the high excitement level of the interaction isn’t matched by the level of trust between the relationship partners. Cooper and Sportolari (1997) called this the boom and bust phenomenon of online relationships.
• A key feature of self-disclosure in virtual relationships is that the sender of a message has more time to manipulate their online image than they would in a FtF situation, which is known as selective self-presentation. People online have more control over what to disclose and the cues they send, making it much easier to manipulate self-disclosure to promote intimacy in CMC relationships, by self-presenting in a positive way.
• Another aspect of CMC that makes self disclosure hyperpersonal is the anonymity afforded online. When you’re aware that other people do not know your identity, you feel less accountable for your behaviour, so you may well disclose more about yourself to somebody online, as the risks of ridicule are lower.
• Another difference between online and face-to-face interactions is absence of gating. In real life, our attraction to other people is greatly influenced by their appearance, mannerisms and factors such as age and ethnicity, limiting our choice of potential partners. In virtual interactions, however, these barriers are absent; this creates more opportunities for shy people to develop romantic relationships. Even when these factors are discovered later, they rarely decrease an already-developed attraction, because there is an established feeling of intimacy between partners at that point.
• The absence of gating also means that people can establish virtual identities they could never create face-to-face. A shy person can become outgoing and extraverted, for example.
• The reduced cues theory of virtual relationships is rejected by Tidwell and Walther (1995), who argue that in virtual relationships people also use subtle cues, such as the time taken to respond to their post, or emoticons and emojis. For instance, taking time to reply to a social network status update is often interpreted as a more intimate act than an immediate response. However, if too much time passes, it is thought of as ignorance. Therefore, according to them, non-verbal cues in online interactions are not absent, they are just different.
• Zhao et al. (2008) claim that the absence of gating, and more meaningful self- disclosure online also has positive effects on people's offline relationships. As they can create an online identity that is appreciated by others, it enhances their overall self-image and increases the quality of their

  face-to-face relationships as well. This supports the suggestion about the positive effect of virtual relationships on face-to- face one
• Furthermore, McKenna and Bargh (2000) looked at CMC use by lonely and socially anxious people and found that such people were able to express their ‘true selves’ more than in face to face situations. Of the romantic relationships that initially formed online, 70% survived more than two years. This is a higher proportion than for relationships formed in the offline world, suggesting that virtual relationships have a positive impact on FtF relationships due to absence of gating.
• For example, Nakanishi (1986) found that, in contrast to American culture, women in Japan preferred lower levels of self-disclosure in close relationships. This demonstrates that the level of self-disclosure depends on cultural norms, and may affect the communication styles online. This lowers the validity of research into virtual relationships, limiting the range of relationships it explain
• However, it could be that male and female experiences of virtual relationships are similar and there are methodological issues with the research in this area that exaggerate the differences (e.g. the choice of interview/questionnaires as a research tool)