Parenting a Child With a Disability

• After the Diagnosis:

  • Research a Disability
  • Accepting Your Child's Special Needs
  • Working with Specialists
• Internal stress factors come from within the individual and include attitudes, perceptions, assumptions, and expectations
• Parents of children with disabilities need to recognize that children with disabilities require exceptional amounts of energy. In order to replenish energy, parents need to be sure they get sufficient rest, eat well balanced meals, and exercise vigorously. During the workshop, parents learn meditation or relaxation techniques to use when they feel stressed, anxious, or fatigued.

  Physiological Stress
• So what's a parent to do? Three key pieces of advice:

  1. At first the disability has to become your new hobby. Learn all you can, join support groups, track down adults with it.
  2. Realize that your family will no longer be anonymous like "normal" families.
  3. Take time for yourself and your spouse.
• Parents of children with disabilities had very elevated scores on the Parenting Stress Index, signifying that they perceived far more stress in their role as parents than did parents of children without disabilities.
• External forces also impinge upon parents of children with disabilities. Neighbors, friends, and relatives don't understand why such a normal-acting child is having academic problems. Teachers frequently don' t fully understand the ramifications of a child's problem.
• identify your own specific stressors, and determine if your stress is primarily

  • internal
  • external, or
  • physiological.
• I will be seen by society as a good and honorable person because of the effort I put into being a good parent.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• List priorities both short and long term.

  Use Time Management
• Helping siblings understand the problems associated with disabilities.

  External Stress Factors
• Be able to live in the presence of imperfection.

  Coping with internal stress
• Physiological Stressors

  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Rest
  • Recreation
• Financial pressures.

  External Stress Factors
• Learn about your child's problems and needs so that you can be an active participant in meetings with school personnel and can offer suggestions to coaches, neighbors, and relatives.

  Develop Assertiveness
• State how it could be worse and how it could be better.

  Analyze Problems Thoroughly
• I should do everything for my children and not require that they take on the responsibilities that they are old enough to handle.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• Develop a support system by sharing honestly your feelings of frustration, anger, and concern.

  Coping with Internal stress
• Helping child with homework.


  External Stress Factors
• I should spend every possible moment with my children.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• Determine what is keeping it from getting better. Propose solutions for the things over which you have control.

  Analyze Problems Thoroughly
• Coping with External Stress

  • Analyze Problems Thoroughly
  • Use Time Management
  • Develop Assertiveness
• Practice positive thinking by daily affirmations. Repeat positive messages to yourself over and over.

  Coping with Internal stress
• Know your limits and be realistic about what you can accomplish. Say no to unreasonable demands.

  Develop Assertiveness
• Coping with difficult child behaviors.

  External Stress Factors
• I will never be bored as a parent.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• Write them out and put them around the house.

  Coping with Internal stress
• Do a time use audit.

  Use Time Management
• Getting child in right school.

  External Stress Factors
• I refuse to let anyone else care for or influence my children.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• Learn to tolerate change because children change often. You and the children both change moods and feelings.

  Coping with Internal stress
• Describe the problem with a specific statement.

  Analyze Problems Thoroughly
• Educating neighbors and relatives about the child's problems

  External Stress Factors
• I should always deny my own needs for rest and recreation in order to help my children.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• Understand anger and use it constructively. Control anger by controlling wishes.

  Coping with Internal stress
• Plan action.

  Analyze Problems Thoroughly
• Working with spouse on child management.

  External Stress Factors
• I should feel guilty if I need a break or want some attention for myself.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress
• Compare time use with priority of goals.

  Use Time Management
• Renounce love, affection, and approval from children as needs-rather than bonuses.

  Coping with Internal stress
• The success or failure of my children depends entirely on me.

  Beliefs that Lead to Internal Stress