Personal Relationship(L1)

• PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- Is a form of relationship closely linked to a person and which can only be important

  to that person.
• Kinds of Personal Relationship

  • PRIVACY AND INTIMACY - are two attributes describing personal relationships and level of commitment to

  another person.

  • IMPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP - commitment to an organization like a business entity, a principle or

  purpose.
• Important Concept of Personal Relationship

  • Love - Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

  -attraction based on sexual desire, affection and tenderness felt by lovers

  -affection based on admirations, benevolence, or common interest

  • Commitment – it refers to the feelings and actions that keep partners working together to maintain the

  relationship

  • Attraction- the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.
• Adolescence is the stage when many personal relationships such as the so-called romantic relationship are

  usually formed. Romantic relationship may begin with being attracted to someone, develop into loving him or her,

  and committing to spend the lifetime with that person.
• Romantic relationships are the core of the social life of many adolescents from middle to late adolescent

  stages. In these stages, there is much thought, talking, and fantasizing about being in a romantic relationship.

  Though adolescent romantic relationships are short-lived, these have great impact on adolescents’ life. The way

  they handle such early romantic relationships may determine their behavior in their future committed

  relationships in adulthood.
• Teenage romantic relationship are usually not the serious ones. Often transitory, they are normally

  deemed as more or less "puppy love” kind of relationship. But though they are not expected to end up in marriage,

  they nonetheless play an important role in the daily life of adolescents and have noteworthy implications on their

  mental health and well-being, continuing development, and imminent romantic relationships.
• It is thus essential to study the effects of these relationships on the Iives of adolescents. Characteristically,

  romantic relationship is a part of their development, a common issue for them, a focus of their concern and

  thoughts, and frequently the cause of intense positive and negative emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger,

  and jealousy.
• Teenage Relationships

  Teenage relationships may start with attraction, develop into love, and, if various factors permit, end up in

  commitment.
• Attraction can be considered as a precursor to love.

  When one is attracted to another person, there is the physical or

  sexual feeling or desire being felt. Attraction is responsible for

  the desire to feel (e.g. kiss, hold the hand, or touch) the object of

  affection. Some say that it is the "chemistry" part of love.
• Age may also be a factor in attraction. Adolescents are typically attracted to people of the same age, though

  girls may tend to prefer older boys. Other bases of attraction include race or ethnicity, family background,

  popularity, and wealth.
• Some Forms of Attraction

  Crush is a form of attraction. According to author E. Hurlock, crush is "the love of an adolescent toward an older

  member of the same or opposite sex" (as cited in Kapunan, 1971, p. 85). This type of attraction encompasses "a

  transfer of affection from the parents to either a teacher or an older classmate (Kapunan, 1971, p. 85). This is

  why in adolescence, crushes to older individuals are common. The usual bases of crush are the traits which the

  adolescents view as nice, ideal, or admirable.
• Identity crush


  An adolescent finds someone he/she admires, wants to imitate, or wishes to follow as his/her leader
• Identity crushes


  • Often last long because the admirer is using his/her 'crush' in shaping his/her values, ideals, personality, and development
• Romantic crush


  An adolescent finds someone as attractive and feels the desire to be around or spend a lot of time with him/her
• Romantic crushes


  • Most are short-lived because there is a tendency for the 'magic' (or charm) of the 'crush' to wear off
• Having a romantic crush


  May give an awareness to an adolescent that he/she is capable of having a "romantic love" in the future
• Courtship can be considered under attraction stage.

  Courtship is a phase in a romantic relationship prior to

  engagement and marriage. It involves the "getting to know each

  other" part which could be a basis for the persons involved

  whether or not they will upgrade their relationship to a higher

  level.
• Stages of courtship

  • Dating
  • Selective Stage
• Dating


  A process which offers opportunity for an individual to know more about another person (especially a potential boyfriend girlfriend) and have a friendly association or enjoyable time with him/her
• Usual activities in dating

  • Eating out in restaurants
  • Strolling on malls
  • Engaging in games together (e.g. computer games and sports activities)
  • Watching movies or concerts
• In the dating stage, there is usually no commitment whatsoever between the two persons
• Dating is an activity common to individuals in late adolescence stage
• Selective Stage


  After dating, a person decides whether or not to continue 'seeing' a certain individual. In this stage, a person also starts selecting the individual who will be his or her "steady," that is, the person with whom he/she wants to have a romantic relationship
• Going "Steady"


  1. Mutual understanding between two persons

  2. Exclusive dating

  3. Intention to proceed to marriage
• Engagement Period


  1. Formal and public announcement of engagement

  2. Contract and promise to marry on a set date

  3. Setting things for the wedding
• Courtship ends either in marriage (wedding or settling down) or formal break up
• For a relationship to last, courtship should persist even within the married life
• Four Types of Love

  • Philia
  • Eros
  • Storge
  • Agape
• Philia


  Love between friends. In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, philia is usually translated as "friendship" or affection. The complete opposite is called a phobia. It occurs when both people share the same values and respect each other — it's commonly referred to as "brotherly love."
• Eros


  Sense of being in love. It is described as passionate love between two individuals. Romantic in nature. Eros is physical love or sexual desire.
• Storge


  Affectionate love for the family
• Agape


  Unconditional love. Suggest something divine, devotional, and sacrificing. In Christianity, agape is "the highest form of love, charity" and "the love of God for man and of man for God". This is in contrast to philia, brotherly love, or philautia, self-love, as it embraces a profound sacrificial love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance.
• Ancient Greeks (Gregory 2012): 'There are four types of Love'
• Philautia


  Self-love. How a person views themselves and how they feel about their own body and mind
• Modern equivalent of philautia

  Self-esteem (good) or hubris (bad)
• Love cannot be fully captured in any single definition
• Love is subjectively defined, there could be as many definitions or the concept as there are many people defining it
• Love can really be a many splendored things
• Love is a very multifaceted and complex concept which could be experienced in every stage of human life- childhood, adolescence, and adulthood
• The psychologist Robert Sternberg is one of the experts who theorized about love. Based on his

  "triangular theory of love," love has three components such as intimacy, passion, and commitment. Resulting from

  the combination of these components are eight types of love ("Triangular theory of love," n.d.):