Poem at Thirty - Nine

• first person

  reflective intimate and conversational tone as the writer comes to terms with lose through writing and thinking. an autobiographical poem.
• Poem at Thirty-Nine (title)

  nostalgic and shows the poets age which suggests a moment/age of reassessing her life and success
• line 1: How i miss my father.

  end stopped line and powerful simple sentence indicates a mournful starting tone.
• enjambment

  it is difficult to talk about therefore when she does there is flowing emotion and a stream of consciousness.
• line 3 so tired

  line 7 I think of him

  the adj. indicates her impression of her dad and how he is remembered. he has hardships and it was difficult for him to support the family.
• line 3 so tired

  line 6 writing deposit slips and checks

  line 16 the life he knew

  semantic field of money and hardship, the bank was his burden and finance dominated his life. plural of slips indicates how many there were.
• stanza 2

  an honest reflection with a lack of sentimentality, different to the emotive 'I wish' in stanza 1.
• line 8 he taught

  line 12 I learned ... to escape

  line 20 - he taught me

  semantic field of influence + teaching, he influenced her so that she is able to escape, he is still loving.
• line 10 he must've said

  the memory cannot be exact in her recollection.
• line 9 this is the form,

  line 11 the way it is done

  simple sentences suggest an instructive tone and mimics a father speaking to a child.
• stanza 3

  he was strict but simultaneously loving
• line 22-23 did not always mean a beating;

  directly means 'sometimes', she doesn't resent him and is working on reflection and coming to terms with him.
• line 24-25 my truths must have grieved him

  possessive of her writing and suggests that he disapproved of her writing, she recognises this which implies an honest relationship.
• line 26 before the end

  euphemism fot his death adds a sense of realism and factual and there is a slight regretful tone as she finds it hard to accept, as the reader wonders what she might have done differently.
• line 27 How I miss my father!

  celebratory exclamation and repetition, celebrating his life and change in tone.
• stanza 4

  emphasizes her feelings of intense loss but paints a very vivid positive image of her father suggesting how beautiful his actions were.
• line 28-29-30 He cooked like a person dancing in a yoga meditation

  SIMILE, an unusual comparison and implies his energetic qualities but also calmness at the same time (an oxymoron) and this juxtaposes his previous strictness and serious tone. the verb indicates this was an escape for him as he would be distracted, relaxed and absorbed.
• line 32-33 sharing of good food

  positivity and the extended analogy/metaphor of cooking. Despite his own financial situation and poverty he is still a generous person.
• 34 Now I look and cook just like him

  internal rhyme which states an obvious physical similarity but also his influence over her in terms of her interests.
• Stanza 5

  'Now' brings us to the current, less tense and focus on her own success and mannerisms.
• 35 my brain light

  36 tossing this and that

  37 into the pot

  adj. no burdens, she is currently care free, secure and not burdened by the thoughts of her father, similar to him dancing in a yoga meditation. tossing this and that indicates a very nonchalant tone through the sibilance and casual present continuous verb.
• line 38 seasoning none of my life

  line 39 the same way twice

  a metaphor indicating her life has become full of flavour and more excited as she has gained some skills.
• line 39-40 happy to feed whoever strays my way

  not specific and ambiguous, she is generous and accpeted, content and open and links back to the image of her dad sharing food.
• stanza 6

  she has become independent, self-aware, capable and practical and is fine by herself, she is not struggling and has financial freedom
• line 41 he would have grown

  the verb 'grown' indicates change and a pleased tone.
• line 42-43 to admire the woman I've become.

  the abstract noun suggests not directly love but have respect for and emphasises her success as a person and her independency.
• 44 -45 cooking, writing, chopping wood,

  an asyndetic list of present continuous verbs that highlight what she has learnt to and what she has gained.

  
  

  1) his influence

  2) her passion and what he disapproved of before as he never knew of her impending success.

  3) conventionally a man's activity.
• 45 - staring into the fire

  fire - a spark of him that lives on within her

  staring into - the present continuous verb suggests a reflective tone and shows how calm she is whilst thinking. ends on a positive tone.
• free verse/varied stanza length

  she is lost in the memory and each memory continuously sparks another thought as she looks into the fire.
• themes


  CHILDHOOD, LOSS, REGRET, NOSTALGIA, MEMORIES, FAMILIAL LOVE.
• Theme in each stanza


  loss, influence, clearer image of him, intense sense of loss, realisation and self awareness, contentment and acceptance of their relationship as well as herself.
• How is her father presented?

  loving but imperfect.