Family and marriage

• Nuclear Family


  Mum, Dad and the child(ren). Considered a normal family unit in the western world
• Single-parent Family


  A family of either a mum or a dad, plus child(ren). Becoming more common in the UK
• Extended Family


  The nuclear family plus other relatives, usually grandparents, living with the family, but can also include cousins, uncles, aunts and so on
• Polygamy


  A man has several wives, often having children with each. Allowable under specific circumstances in the Islamic faith
• Reconstituted family


  Two families join together after one or both partners have divorced their previous partners. Also called blended family or step family
• Same-sex family


  Since civil partnerships were legalised in 2005, the number of same sex families has been growing. Same-sex couples cannot conceive together, so their children may be adopted or be the biological children of one member of the couple. They may also be from a sperm donor or a surrogate birth mother.
• Marriage in the 21st Century


  • Uniting two people together in a life-long bond
  • Providing a secure environment for the birth and upbringing of children
• Marriage


  A civil contract between two people. The couple can choose whether to have the ceremony in a registry office or other place licensed to conduct marriages, or as part of a religious ceremony in a place of worship licensed to conduct it.
• Cohabitation


  Living together without being married
• Arranged Marriage


  The parents have found a prospective spouse for their son or daughter. The final choice is usually made by the young person, who is free to reject as many of the potential marriage partners as they wish until they meet someone who they are happy to marry.
• Divorce is actually still less common in arranged marriages than in Western 'Love' marriages
• Forced Marriage


  Not the same as an arranged marriage
• Reasons for arranged marriages in Hinduism

  • Need to find husbands and wives for those living in poverty and in villages
  • Travel was rare and people soon ran out of people to marry they were not related to
  • Hindu teachings forbid people marrying anyone less than seven genetic steps removed
  • Parents wanted to create a second family for their children, in case they died while the children were still young
• Children are expected to accept their parents' decision with respect to marriage unconditionally, extra-marital relationships, separations, and remarriage have been looked down upon
• For most people in India, marriage is a one-time event in life, which sanctified and glorified with much social approval
• Marriage is a social necessity; marrying children is the primary responsibility of parents in Hinduism
• Married couples are accorded respect in the community. Non-solemnization of marriage is a social stigma
• Hindu marriage ceremony


  Considered sacred, binding a man and woman together for life. It takes the Hindu couple into the second ashrama.
• Hindu marriage ceremony


  1. Bride has her hands and feet decorated with beautiful designs made with henna the day before

  2. Bride and groom take baths and put on perfumed oils on the morning of the marriage

  3. Bride and groom fast until the wedding ceremony is complete

  4. Prayers and offerings made to Lord Ganesh

  5. Bride and groom place flower garlands around each other's necks

  6. Priest ties the bride's sari to a scarf worn by the groom

  7. Bride and groom throw offerings of grains into the sacred fire

  8. Bride and groom walk several times around the sacred fire

  9. Bride and groom take seven steps and make seven promises to each other

  10. Groom puts red powder into the bride's hair

  11. Parents, family members and friends give their blessing to the couple using rice
• In a traditional Hindu marriage, the aim is for the couple to grow together and share their joys and sorrows with each other. They will take care of their children and later, share wisdom with their grandchildren.
• Divorce


  A legal process that ends a marriage. An increasing number of marriages now break down and end in divorce.
• Divorce (in Christianity)


  Mentioned in the Bible many times. Jesus taught that divorce is adultery, which is forbidden in the Ten Commandments. However, he did allow for divorce in the case of a partner's infidelity.
• Divorce (in Roman Catholicism)

  The Roman Catholic Church does not recognise divorce. A marriage can only end when one partner dies or if there are grounds for an annulment. A couple may be granted a civil divorce but their marriage will continue in the eyes of God, meaning neither partner can remarry in a Catholic church.
• Most Roman Catholics will try to resolve problems in their marriage to avoid divorce as it is forbidden by their Church. If the marriage has irretrievably broken down, they can get a civil divorce, but they will be unable to remarry in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church.
• Matt 19:9: '"…Any man who divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, commits adultery if he marries some other woman."'
• Christians experiencing marital difficulties


  • They will try to work through them because they have promised before God to stay together for the rest of their lives
  • They may go to their church to ask for advice and support
  • They might feel that divorce is the only option
• Roman Catholic view of divorce

  • The Roman Catholic Church does not recognise divorce
  • A marriage can only end when one partner dies or if there are grounds for an annulment
  • A couple may be granted a civil divorce but their marriage will continue in the eyes of God
  • Neither of the partners can remarry in a Catholic church
• Mark 10:11-12: '"A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against his wife. In the same way, a woman who divorces her husband and marries another man, commits adultery."'
• Covenant


  An everlasting commitment made in church during the original marriage ceremony
• Reasons why the Roman Catholic Church is against divorce

  • Jesus said it was wrong (anyone who divorces his wife… and marries another commits adultery)
  • Marriage is a sacrament (given by God)
  • What is made by God should not be broken
• Mark 10:7-9: '"…A man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one"…"No human being then must separate what God has joined together."'
• Annulment


  The Roman Catholic Church will grant this if it can be shown that the marriage is not valid
• Conditions for a valid marriage in the Roman Catholic Church


  • The couple must marry freely and without reservation
  • They must love and honour each other for life
  • They must accept children lovingly from God
• Decree of nullity


  If granted, the man and woman are free to remarry and to do so in church
• Reasons for annulment in the Roman Catholic Church

  • They did not understand
  • Forced into marriage
  • Marriage not consummated
• Anglican/Church of England view of divorce

  • The Anglican Church does not advocate divorce, but it is allowed if the marriage has truly broken down and cannot be repaired
  • Someone who is divorced can remarry in an Anglican church
• Protestant churches' view of divorce

  • Divorce is not desirable
  • It can be seen as a last resort when all other attempts to save the marriage have failed and care has been taken concerning the interests and future of any children
  • Human beings make mistakes in all areas of life, including their choice of marriage partner
• Church of England's approach to remarriage of divorced people


  • They allow divorced people to remarry in church, although sometimes it is at the discretion of the minister
  • Some ministers may refuse on the grounds of conscience
  • Some may be willing to remarry the person who has been treated badly by their partner, but not the 'guilty' person who may have deserted their original partner for someone else
• Reasons why the Church of England allows divorce

  • Jesus allowed divorce for adultery
  • Humans make mistakes and relationships break down
  • God forgives sin, with forgiveness, those who divorce can still have happiness with another
  • The C of E sees marriages as a lifelong commitment but understands that some circumstances happen that need divorce to be an option
• Hindu view of divorce

  • Traditionally, there is no concept of divorce in Hinduism
  • Marriage is meant for procreation and continuation of family lineage
  • It is an obligatory duty, part of Hindu dharma, which, once accepted, should be upheld by both the parties throughout their lives
  • Marriage is a sacred bond, which cannot be dissolved through divorce on some personal or selfish grounds
  • It is a commitment that extends beyond this life, up to several generations
  • Couples are destined to marry, not because they have chosen to
  • Any notion of separation is a sacrilege, with terrible consequences awaiting both the parties in their future lives
  • Whatever difficulties the couple may have, society and the scriptures expect them to take them in their stride, as a part of their karma, and continue their journey together