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• Words from other people that give you pressure

  • We thought you are genius
  • Your parents compare you with your siblings
  • When you are the eldest
• Words you say to yourself that give you pressure?

  • I might dissapoint them
  • What will other people say
  • People respect only those who succeed
• When you experience pressure what do you feel?

  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Decrease school performance
  • No motivation
• Two things that people do when they feel pressure

  • excessive over preparation
  • procrastination and last minute working
• Impostor Syndrome - When success feels like failure
• Superhero - overwork themselves to make up for how inadequate they feel
• Natural Genius - set exceedingly high goals, feel crushed when they don't meet them
• Expert - never satisfied with their level of understanding, always trying to learn more
• Perfectionist - never completely happy with their work, fixated on flaws instead of strengths
• Soloist - prefer to work alone, won't ask for help for fear of appearing weak or incompetent
• Be your own cheerleader

  • acknowledge and accept your feeling
  • reframe negative self-talk
  • focus on your strengths
  • practice self-compassion
  • seek support from others
• What can we do to make our house a real home?

  1. provide a wholesome atmosphere for the children to grow up in.
• A.

  1. fill your home with love
  2. Spend time with your children
  3. communicate with your children
  4. set a good examples to your children
  5. appreciate your children
• B. Parents, watch out.

  1. Don't ever punish your child while you are angry
  2. Don't force your child to study beyond his/her ability
  3. Don't judge your child with an adult standard
• Authoritarian Parenting - parents of this style tend to have a one-way mode of communication where the parents establishes strict rules that the child obeys. there is little to no room for negotiations from the child and the rules\
• Authoritative Parenting - this type of parent normally develops a close, nurturing relationship with their children. they have clear guidelines for their expectations and explain their reasons associated with disciplinary actions
• Permissive Parenting - tend to be warm, nurturing and usually have minimal or no expectations. They impose limited rules on their children. Communication remains open, but parents allow their children to figure things out themselves
• Uninvolved Parenting - Children are given a lot of freedom as this type of parent normally stays out of the way. They fulfill the child's basic needs while generally remaining detached from their child's life
• Love - The only way to overcome this "prison of aloneness" is through love, mature love

  Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality
• Love is an activity

  • The activity that love engages in is giving, giving of oneself, of one's life.
  • This does not necessarily mean sacrificing one's life for another - although it could - but also giving of one's joy, interests, understanding, humour and sadness
• Five types of love

  • Philia (Friendly/Brotherly Love)
  • Motherly love (Familial/ Affectionate Love)
  • Erotic love/ Eros (Passionate/Intimate Love)
  • Self-love
  • Love of god / Agape (unconditional love)
• Philia (Friendly/Brotherly Love)

  • the love felt between close friends, mentors and close communities
• Storge (Familial/Affectionate Love)

  • Motherly love is unconditional love like that of a mother for her child
  • is familial love, affectionate love you have for your family, whether that be your son, daughter, mother, father or immediate/extended family.
• Eros (Passionate/Intimate Love)

  • this is the sexual or intimate passion you feel for a lover. The alluring pull of a well-dressed woman. or the irresistible air of a fashionable gent.
• Self Love

  • Love of oneself, says Fromm, is rooted in one's capacity to love, the affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, freedom'.
  • Love for oneself and love for another are not mutually exclusive, they are 'inseparably connected'.
  • Opposite of selfishness
• Love of God / Agape (Unconditional Love)

  • highest form of love
  • love of god also springs from the need to overcome the anxiety of separateness by the experience of union
• Marriage

  • Catholic church - holy matrimony
• Attachment Style

  • Secure
  • Anxious
  • Avoidant
  • Disorganized
• Prayers

  • is our connection to god's power
  • god is the same yesterday, today and forever - Hebrew
• Trust With Abandonment

  Obey Without Expectation

  Love without condition
• Happiness

  • emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment and fulfilment
• Why are some people not happy?

  • problems
  • worry/anxiety
  • low self-image/inferiority complex
  • other reasons
• The Four Habits

  1. Praise and worship god everyday
  2. fill your mind with positive thoughts all day long
  3. take good care of your body through exercise, proper diet and having enough sleep
  4. be a blessing to someone everyday
• 4 pillars of happiness

  1. to be grateful
  2. to prioritize friends and family
  3. to do and experience more
  4. to help others
• How not to quarrel

  • refuse to be provoked
  • pray
  • focus on the behavior, not the person
  • do not dig up past hurts
  • accept your family member as he/she is
  • If there are serious cause of quarrel, seek counsel
• The first stitch to mend any rent are the words "I'm Sorry"
• Forgiveness

  • when someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment - or embrace forgiveness and move forward