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Cards (25)
"After that his father had given up.
Both
trips
etched
vividly
into
Chris's
mind
,
like
so
many of the
powerless
indignities
of
childhood
"'
His mother has embellished
past
events
to
give
them
a
patina
of
something
richer
and
happier
She's finally given up
knitting baby clothes
Behind the warmth in her tone
he
can
hear
the
steely
undercurrent
she'd
used
on
him
as
a
child
to
make
him
do
as
he
was
told
"
I don't understand why you can't just stay
" She'll say
petulantly.
'seeing your mother there
in
the
pictures
, gripping
her
two
girl
,
your
father
nowhere-just
a
peripheral
shadowy
shape
,
stretched
thin'
You can feel it in the way
your
mother's hand
drops
onto
your
shoulders
The
pressure
that
pushes
you
down
,
which
says
,
just
you
wait.
Each morning of the school holidays,
you
feel
a
faint
,
smothered panic
that
the
pool
will
sooner
or
later
be
the
subject
of
attack
Her tenderness felt
as
treacherous
and
irresistible
as
a
tide
the way she looks your father
in
the
face
to
say
it,
her
touch
on
his
arm
as
she
goes
past,
makes
something
turn
over
in
your
stomach
,
cold
and
glassy
'This is how you do
it,
I
think
,
stick
by
careful
stick
over
the
ashes
,
oxygen
and
fuel
,
a
controlled
burn'
three kids glued to the TV,
something that's been happening a lot
it morphs pretty quickly
into
orders.
I
mean
,
why
there
?
Just
where
you
can
keep
your
eye
on
everything
,
like
central control
?
hands turning me carefully
over
,
carefully
but
somehow
not
gently
,
hands
which
so
clearly
conveyed
that
they
wished
themselves
gone
Christmas designed by
Disney
and
Mattel.
-
everything
replaced
except
,
in
the
middle
of
it
all
,
the
baby
"dissolves into a hoot
of
laughter
then
a
coughing
fit
,
and
I
reach
down
and
grab
his
frail
hand
again
till
its
over
"'
"What about you going
off
to
London
and
all?
" "
I'll
just
go
a
bit
later
than
I
planned
,
It's
not
like
it's
going
anywhere
"
"I never wanted to
live
past
seventy five
" "
till
the
day
I
turned
seventy
four
"
"
weightless"
he
says
finally "
completely
weightless
"
"Your bloods
worth
bottling
"
"Your partner dies,
and
everyone
comes
over
with
casse
r
oles
-
Your
partner
leaves
,
and
apparently you
need
avoiding"'
"I don't know about you,
but
I
don't
need
to
talk.
I
need
someone
else
to
talk.
I
need
answers.
"
"I don't know why
they
call
it
surfing.
They
should
call
it
drowning"
"Running from something
that's
it.
Can't
he
see
the
symbolism"
"Links are what
you're
after
;
linked
hands
,
connections
,
answers
,
the
web
is
like
a
big
stretched
safety
net
"