Mindset - Carol Dweck

• The goal of the book is to learn how a simple belief guides a large part of my life. It permeates every part of it
• .- “I always thought you coped with failure or you didn’t cope with failure. I never thought anyone loved failure.”
• .- “Not only weren’t they discouraged by failure, they didn’t even think they were failing. They thought they were learning.”
• the major factor in whether people achieve expertise is not some fixed prior ability, but purposeful engagement
• If I am oriented toward learning, I need accurate information about my current abilities in order to learn effectively.
• Exceptional people seem to have a talent to convert life’s setbacks into future successes
• The root that grows into fixed(1) and growth(2) mindset through the meaning of ability:

  1. A fixed ability that needs to be proven
  2. A changeable ability that can be developed through learning
• Effort is what makes me smart and talented
• People with fixed mindset thrive in known environments but when faced with too challenging situations where they don't feel smart or talented they loose interest.
• I will know that I am changing mindsets when I have automated this thought: This is hard, this is fun.
• "Becoming" is better than "being". The fixed mindset does not allow people the luxury of "becoming". They have to already "be"
• When people with fixed mindset opt for success over growth, they are trying to prove they are special, even superior.
• People who believe in fixed traits, feel the urgency to succeed, and when they do, they may feel more than pride, like superiority or entitlement. But behind this fixed mindset lays a simple question: if you are "somebody" when you're successful, what are you when you are "unsuccessful"?
• Even in the growth mindset, failure can be a painful experience. But it does not define me. It is a problem to be faced and dealt with, and learned from
• "you aren't a failure until you start to blame" -> It means that I can still be in the process of learning from my mistakes until I deny them.
• The more depressed the growth mindset people, the more they take action to confront their problems and the more they do to keep up with their lives. The worst they feel, the more determined they become.
• The fixed mindset stands in the way of development and change. The growth mindset is a starting point for change but I need to decide for myself where my efforts towards change would be most valuable.
• Fixed mindset limits achievement. Produces interfering thoughts and makes effort disagreeable. It makes other people judges, not allies.
• Growth mindset offers clear focus, all out effort, countless strategies and allies to learn
• The growth mindset also makes me able to take what I can and what I need even from a threatening environment
• I will have a growth mindset when I found success in doing my best, in learning and improving. That is found in multi disciplinar champions.
• With the growth mindset I find the setbacks motivating. They are informative. A wake up call
• If I work hard at something, I get out what I put in
• For the fixed mindset, it is intolerable to show any flaw, even if that means not acting at all
• I must be conscious when identifying this in myself, because it shows a fixed mindset: blame, excuses and stifling(constrain, retrain) of critics and rivals
• "People don't like to hear bad news or get criticism, there is tremendous risk in leaving what one does well to attempt to master something new. And the fixed mindset makes it seem all that much riskier"
• True self-confidence is "the courage to be open, to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source". Real self-confidence is not reflected in materialistic success or status titles. It is reflected in my mindset: readiness to grow.
• For enriching a discussion.-“… I propose to postpone further discussion of “X” matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understating of what the decision is all about”
• It has to be a person with fixed mindset who coined the expression "revenge is sweet"
• A destructive belief for a relationship is "if we need to work at it, there is something seriously wrong with the relationship"
• Beautiful French expression: "tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner" which means "to understand is to forgive"
• A flaw of the fixed mindset is the belief that problems are a sign of deep-seated weakness. Like blaming themselves or assigning it to a trait, a "character flaw"
• It is difficult to realise when a friend do not mean well to oneself.
• When someone needs or seeks validations, they use people as mirrors to validate or approve its message.
• Shy people worry that others will bring them down, worrying about being judged or embarrassed in social environments.
• Shyness can harm social interactions for people with fixed mindset by worrying about making mistakes or meeting a more socially skilled person. On the other side, shy people with growth mindset, can look very nervous in the beginning of an interaction but through progress it can begin to look like a non-shy person.
• A shy person with a fixed mindset faces an interaction fearing the risk while a shy person with growth mindset person embraces the challenge.
• Seeing performance as a reflection of character is a potencial problem. It means that thinking of not accomplishing something right away can lead to avoidance of the task
• To love challenge, to be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, seek new strategies and keep on learning
• Praise must focus on effort and achievements, not with personality traits.